Xie and Kepi

So, Joe has this ridiculously stupid idea that after going through his share of the suffering and torture that Lucifer will give him a job. I know, thats what I said. Well, if you said that's stupid then yeah, that's what I said. But he didn't stop there. He also claimed that Lucifer would give him the job of taking care of all the animals in Hell. At that point I felt I must interject:

me: whoa...what makes you think that animals are going to be in hell?

Joe: well they sure as hell aren't going to be in heaven! (smugly laughing at himself)

me: your retarded. the bible says that animals don't have souls, so they can't go to hell plus in Dawn of the Dead, when hell was full the dead walked the earth, where were the zombie dogs and kangaroos, asshole?

Joe: yeah they can and... (I stopped listening...there was more debating...then some debating about how we were debating...then back on the subject...)

Joe: Look, it says in the bible that animals are not going to heaven, and I'm not trying to fill in the spaces, but they are going to hell.

me: That doesn't even make sense.

At that point I made him stop the car and I got out and walked to work, because really, I totally don't need that crap. So the point of the story is I broke up with Joe and if he tells you anything different he's lying. Okay, so that last part didn't happen, but only so he comes back to get me when I get off work. Anyway, this makes me sad...what use is a paramedic in Hell? I mean really, put band-aids on the tortured? I am so screwed. What if I end up with the front desk staff checking people into Hell...fuck.

What would be your job in Hell? (no animals, assholes.)