My dog is a felon (or Exaggeration is the only language I speak.)

= Felon.

That's right...Kepi attacked an Officer of the Law (aka a police officer). I'm over this! Running away from home, apparently trying to steal other dogs belongings and now this? How am I supposed to deal? I lie awake at night wondering where I went wrong, when I'm not blaming Joe for it. Well, she can just forget that 'cop-killa" tattoo she wanted so bad! Not anymore little lady, I won't give into this phase your going through! Don't they have support groups for things like this?

Anyway, in different news...Joe has been throwing me under the bus all day long. A small example:

Joe: Do you remember that time you said that if you ever went deaf you would teach Kepi to bark when the phone rang? (evil laughing)

Me: Your a dick.